Venting Frustration/Seeking Opinions

I didn't mean to start such a flury of venting lol.

 

I'm tellin Mom. You started it!

 

I drive a tow truck. I tow these modern, computerized, electronic shifted, keyless ignition, appliances every day. Would you believe most of the problems boil down to a weak 12 volt battery?

Those that aren't solved by a jump start and then a new battery usually have a little corrosion on the battery posts or terminals, and cleaning that up solves all the little quirks and errors.

My wife has become the queen of getting debutante's cars to start for them. She'll walk up, take the key out of the car, walk away from it for a minute, talk to the customer, explain why she's standing on the other side of the yard with the "Smart Key", and then go over to the car, press the start/stop button, and it's alive. EVERY. TIME.

She is also really good at starting cars that have operator error issues. You see this car's interior?



That's a Plymouth Breeze. See the cupholders in front of the shifter? If you put a Super Big Gulp in one of those cupholders, the shifter doesn't go all the way into Park. If the shifter isn't all the way in Park, it won't start. Excuse me, Mrs. Car Owner, would you hold your drink for a minute? *key turns, car starts with no effort* Here's your sign...

Story time is over. I don't want a newer computerized car. I don't want the Camry or the Windstar or the Suburban. I have those to please my wife and kids. Suburban for a family hauler. Camry for my wife (it was my mother's car). Windstar for the kids to learn to drive on and for me to use to haul parts and things. What I want is to take an older car and add only proven, simple, reliable technology to it. Right now my short list is as follows:

1) Take a B-body GM wagon (like a 78 Caprice I wish I could go pick up in Pittsburgh right now but can't, or the 88 Caprice up in Tiffin, or the 80 LeSabre Estate up in Detroit), drive it for awhile, and then LS swap it with a 4.8L pickup engine, 4L60E transmission, 91-96 wagon fuel tank swap (for electric fuel pump and vapor return lines), and 3.08 or 3.23 or so rear gears. 5x5 bolt pattern probably means Buick rallys (yes, even on a Chevy).

2) Take a white 1965-1966 Chevrolet Biscayne or Bel Air sedan with column shift three speed manual and the straight six engine. Tune it until the cows come home. Consider adding EFI with injectors mounted in the intake itself (not a TBI unit but I'd consider it too). Add an overdrive on the back of the transmission. Change gears until it's just right. Stock white painted steel wheels with tiny dog dish hubcaps, blackwall tires. If the six dies later on, find another one, maybe upgrade to a 250 or 292 while I'm at it. Maybe try a 4.0L EFI Jeep six instead with the right bellhousing and clutch and flywheel to work with the Saginaw three speed. Maybe do an LS swap. Maybe do a 3800 swap from a Camaro. Maybe use a Mercedes diesel. Just go crazy swapping it until it feels right.

3) Take an Edsel and put in a nice 302 V8 and 4R70W from a 2WD late 90s Explorer. Yeah, an Edsel. No pushbutton transmission though. I'd really like a 1960 model and even if I can't find a 1960 Edsel I would take a 1960 Ford or Mercury before I'd take a 1958 or 1959 Edsel.

4) Take a 1982-1989 Cadillac Fleetwood Brougham with every freakin' option imaginable, (Astroroof, dual power seats, auto climate control, CB radio with 8-track or cassette deck, leather, reading lights, litter cans on the kick panels, thermometer on the driver mirror, power trunk pulldown, the works, and anything it doesn't have, add it), pull whatever boat anchor 4100 or 307 is in it, and swap in a 6.2L or 6.5L diesel from a pickup. No turbo. But I'll take a 700R4 transmission and really tall gearing. Insulate the ever lovi'n crap out of the firewall, hood underside, core support, inner fenders, and add splash shields underneath. Make it the quietest diesel Caddy I can possibly create. And it'll be more reliable.

 

Occupant thanks for the info. I'm sure you've seen it all more than you'd like. I love the BigGulp story. But I am not smart enough to know what a "Smart Key" is to press the start/stop button. Lucky my newest vehicle is just before the coded keys.

Here's a Big Gulp type story about my 1977 Dodge powered Class A motorhome. We were about 150 miles from home up on a look out over the Mississippi River with it. We'd parked and got out to look around. The Torqueflyte tranny shifter was a large lever in front of the dash that moved for and aft. Motorhome wouldn't start. After scratching my butt and worrying I finally took it out of park and back. Just like the Big Gulp cup, it started.

 

Give me a good carburetor over fuel infection any day of the week. Oh, and that is not a typo. Can't stand all the sensors and everything. A good, well set up carburetor will work no matter the conditions. Fuel injection computers can fail at -40, just by putting the key in the ignition and turning on the car. My 89 Grand Marquis was one of the last North American cars with a carburetor, and eventually the 2 bbl VV went away and an Edelbrock Performer square bore 4 bbl went on. Much better.

 

It's good therapy to let it all out like this ....when the car manufacturers build a car and TELL you that you want it...yes, frustrating!!

 

Jaxops I don't need therapy. I need heat.

 

This is classic stick-your-head-in-the-sand thinking. The past is always better. Modern technology stinks. Etc. Etc. Etc.

Let's remember that carbureted engines were not nirvana. They frequently went out of tune, needed constant maintenance and attention, and didn't get anywhere near the fuel economy we get today. Click and the recently deceased Clack said it best when they described a carburetor as a coffee can with holes punched in the bottom sitting on top of the engine.

Why is it that cars get much better fuel economy today versus the carburetor era?

Why is it we can push around cars that weigh pretty much the same as they did back then with smaller, lighter engines today?

Why is it that cars today need spark plug changes every 100,000 miles instead of every 12,000 and rarely, if ever, need a general tune-up?


The list goes on.


Yes, anyone can point out a specific problem with a modern engine and use that to give all of modern technology a bad name, but this is meaningless. Nothing is perfect, but, on balance, modern cars and modern engines are so much better than anything we had back in the '60s and '70s it isn't even funny.

Let's enjoy our old cars for what they are and what they represent, but let's not pretend that the era in which they were new was somehow a better world. The better world is today.

 

As much as we argue and as much as I like old cars I agree with jaunty. Even with this modern fuel cars are getting far better mileage and lasting many times longer than before.
I like a carburetor. But mostly because I don't understand the modern alternatives. My truck is an 04 and the only time the hood gets opened is to change oil and check the radiator. Even that is done less.

 

We fear what we don't understand. If you take the big plastic covers off modern cars and take a good look, it is a Engine underneath all that plastic! I hate the electrical systems on new cars (BUS system modern cars use) but mostly because I don't understand them. Went to a couple 2 day classes on them and struggled through them but I had to have it (even if I didn't use it) to continue doing warranty work on Chryslers. You have to have Vehicle Management Systems to even change a wheel stud under warranty!

 

No wonder I'm afraid of women!

 

Clearly you do not know what you are talking about. The next thing I know you'll be telling me disc brakes are better than drums and DIS is inferior to a points distributor. I still drive a hand crank started Model T to work everyday. None of this silly electric starter garbage to fail and leave you on the side of the road. No thank you! Take your hate somewhere else!!

 

Hmmm. 89 Grand Marquis, 351, carburetor vs 88 Grand Marquis, 302, fuel injection. Guess what, the carbureted one got the better mileage, not to mention better performance, and the maintenance schedule was identical between the two. Also, at -40, the carbureted one started easier.

 

I'm not sure the computerisation of cars is progress as much as maybe we are told .
A old school pal of mine works for Vauxhall cars here in the UK he is quite high up in the company R&D department, he tells me that not all of the new Ideas that make it into a modern car are for the customers benefit.

They have started fitting computer chips on the back of fuel pumps, ABS pumps and any other bit they can think of so that when the part goes wrong you will have to take it back to a dealership to get a new part that will be programmed to your car.

The ability to have a part programmed will not be allowed to be used by independent company's.
This will also have a knock on effect, they also wish a car to have a shelf life of no more than 10 years and to this end they are fitting more plastic parts, and components that have a limited life span.
Some of the components will have chips in-bedded so that the car manufacturer will have control of part's sales and therefore control of if a car would be uneconomic to repair.

Here in the UK we are starting to see cars scrapped due to things like a fuel pump fault. when a dealership is asking (£1500 GDP )$2000 to replace a fuel pump on a car that is only worth £1200 $1600 people are scrapping the cars instead of fixing them . ,

Lets face it car companys are out to make money and don't like people that don't buy new cars.......