HEY HEY NOW, UNCLE TED, that tuff love stuff, isn't Politically correct.....GOOD! PC is what ruined this country. everyone is too scared to offend someone i stopped giving a sh!t years ago. X...i hope that is the verbal @ss kickin you needed. Tedy wouldn't have bothered if he didnt care... but he is right. If you wanted to find abundant employment ops ...Chicago wasn't the place to go. Nobody here wants you to leave here (sfw)...so dont think that
Before this thread is deleted there is a question I want to ask, especially of those who espouse a tough love stance. Do any of you know the full extent of the disabilities that had him on a pension? When a young man of 27 requires a cane a lot of the time to walk, there is a physical issue. He as mentioned several times having cognitive issues with which to deal as well. In my time on the forums, I never saw X be anything but positive to others, never saw him be rude, or taking pot shot, deserved or otherwise. I did not get the impression he was begging or asking for help, but rather using the forum here as a sounding board to vent frustrations. Yes, some of those frustrations were caused by poor decision making. Yes, some were caused by relying on others, and they proved to be weak reeds. Still, I never saw him refuse advice that was given, never saw him angry nor despondent. Tough love does have a place in this world. I grant you that. However, it needs to be tempered by a willingness to meet half way, to provide back up when your 'conditions' have been met, or at least a very sincere effort is made. Brow beating is not tough love. What is hardest to take, and this is from experience, is when someone who does not know the entire story compares their own circumstances to someone else's. I do not know what all challenges X faces on a day to day basis. I'm not sure anyone around here does. Nor is it our business to know. However, to turn around and land on someone's head with tough love while not knowing all of the back story is simply heartless. To make a member of the forum feel so unwelcome that he feels it best to leave is not the act of a family member. I am truly saddened that we have lost, even temporarily, a young member of the fraternity.
Mr. Zombie, sir, you are a fairly new member here. But in a short time your wild and weird comical ideas brought other wild and weird members out of the woodwork to share your ideas. That proves that a lot of people have wild ideas. Then when one of our favorite members was falling, you stepped in to help pick him up. I, and hopefully, others thank you for this. We may have seemed to turned on Xavier but it's because we care that we did turn on him. He and Zoe will always be station wagon lovers and hopefully not stray far from this forum. Someday when things work out for them he will return and we will be here with open arms to greet him. I know, he may not want to greet all of us. But getting him to see the light, get angry, and hopefully get his life headed in the right direction is important. Many of us weren't born with that silver spoon in our mouths. We've worked, we've lost, and we've survived. Life ain't supposed to be easy. We must work for what we have or we have nothing. None of us want Xavier to leave. Like Blackfoot, hopefully they will both return when the time is right. This is just my little rambling session for the day. Excuse me I have to tell my wife happy Birthday. MikeT we were both writing at the same time. You are correct in what you wrote. It is none of our business about other members private lives. I know very little about Xavier or Zoe's health issues. Only that he has been struggling in many ways. The posts have continued for some time and I for one think it's time for Xavier to reach out on his own and find what ever work he can handle. Anything is better than being on the cold streets of Chicago. The biggest thing about these posts is it shows even more that this is a caring group of family members looking out for each other. I and a few may no longer fit into this picture, but we really do care. At this time we are also working with our own son with disabilities that the State and others don't look at as true disabilities. While those he lived with collect disabilities for being drunken lazy obese bums, his deformed spine problems don't count. They had him convinced people don't have to work. With luck and help from others he got his job back building motorcycles and we are doing what parents do even though he is now 23 and we told him we would no longer help. I hate to talk personal matters. But now you see why I turned on Xavier as well as our own son.
Cat: I appreciate WHY you did take the stance you did, but there is one very major difference between doing it in person with your son, and doing it on line: Proximity. You are there, so that if, in spite of his best efforts, your son does need assistance, you can catch him. That is not the case with X and Zoe. They seem to be very isolated from a true support system. The move to Chicago was meant to address that, and it did not work that way. They did the best they could with the information they had. Also, at least in X's case, there are cognitive issues to be dealt with, and that complicates everything. X has mentioned these issues several times in the last couple of months. He is working on that, amongst other things, and trying to do so with no real immediate support except for Zoe, who also needs some bolstering. They will be fine, eventually, I have no doubt. In the mean time, a safe place to vent was needed, and unfortunately, that was taken away. Doc: Your offer of help was, and is, truly appreciated. I know it was sincerely meant. Hopefully, X will be able to make progress with your help. He also has my email should he need any assistance I can give.
X doesn't strike me as any kind of deadbeat. I think the criticisms are misplaced as X was giving every indication he was moving forward. The people who responded negatively seem to have experience with moochers and deadbeat offspring. X doesn't live in your house, and this forum doesn't belong to you. Boorish responses reflect badly on all of us here. Hopefully it will be seen that those responses only reflect the author's experience.
I have asked him to and he will stay. This is good on very many levels that I will reveal one day IF he says that it is ok. All of you have an opportunity to play a VERY important part in this mans life and health.
I sent them to apply to a store that just opened, 5 blocks away, but it's not 'taken off' yet, and they're not busy enough. They're both first on the list when they get busy, I just hope they gave both phone #'s, as Xaviers phone is off - I just tried. Hope he's still reading this - if so, please call me!! As for driving a cab in Chicago - an outsider wouldn't have a chance of passing the test for a license, as you've gotta know where things are, and how to get there. The test is $50, plus you've gotta pay the day in advance, around $100 now, + fuel @ $4.00+ a gallon, but you get to keep anything over, if anythings left. In the late '60's, I was making $50-$75 a day - really not bad, but driving 12-15 hrs a day. You get no life!!!!!!!!!!!
I knew that one was out of the question. Most of us couldn't find our way around Chicago well enough. I know I mentioned other places to try that may or may not be good ideas or even possible for them. It's true, I don't know their physical conditions or any other personal issues. I'm sorry if I offended anyone, especially Xavier and Zoe. They've meant so much to me. I guess I forgot they weren't my own kids and spouted off.
65.... check your PM's. As far as being a cabbie.. That is THE LAST job I would ever recommend. I live in a city that is small compared to Chicago and cabbies get injured and robbed all the time here. With the gun laws in Chicago, I shudder to think how bad it is.
Today has been the most awesome day we've had in a long time. We started out going to see our alderman about a bad situation with our landlord thats been going on for a week now and ended up on a float in the Chicago Chinese New Year's parade! It was amazing! The only bad thing was, Zoe's camera decided it was full so we couldn't get any pictures while we were in the parade but I'm sure in a couple of days at least a few of the hundreds of pics people took of us will be online somewhere, and I can post a link. Anyway, I just wanted to say that despite all the challenges we've been facing we are so happy to be a part of this community, both here on the forum and here in Chicago. The other day we saw a Craigslist ad where someone needed help fixing their car and didn't have much money to work with, and although Zoe didn't want to weird him out by telling him how MUCH I love working on cars we did tell him I could look at it, for free of course, and it was so awesome to know that even though times are tough for us there's still something we can do to give back. Thank you so much for all of your support. I can't tell you how much it means to myself and Zoe. It just seems like sometimes everything happens at once and it gets overwhelming, but then someone, or people, make you remember that you're not alone in the world, that we're all in this together. Anyway, I'm done being sappy and just wanted to say, thanks.
