Hell explained by a chemistry student

HELL EXPLAINED

BY A CHEMISTRY STUDENT


The following is an actual question given on a University of Arizona chemistry mid term, and an actual answer turned in by a student.


The answer by one student was so 'profound' that the professor shared it with colleagues, via the Internet, which is, of course, why we now have the pleasure of enjoying it as well :



Bonus Question: Is Hell exothermic (gives off heat) or endothermic (absorbs heat)?



Most of the students wrote proofs of their beliefs using Boyle's Law (gas cools when it expands and heats when it is compressed) or some variant.



One student, however, wrote the following:


First, we need to know how the mass of Hell is changing in time. So we need to know the rate at which souls are moving into Hell and the rate at which they are leaving, which is unlikely.. I think that we can safely assume that once a soul gets to Hell, it will not leave. Therefore, no souls are leaving. As for how many souls are entering Hell, let's look at the different religions that exist in the world today.


Most of these religions state that if you are not a member of their religion, you will go to Hell. Since there is more than one of these religions and since people do not belong to more than one religion, we can project that all souls go to Hell. With birth and death rates as they are, we can expect the number of souls in Hell to increase exponentially. Now, we look at the rate of change of the volume in Hell because Boyle's Law states that in order for the temperature and pressure in Hell to stay the same, the volume of Hell has to expand proportionately as souls are added.


This gives two possibilities:


1. If Hell is expanding at a slower rate than the rate at which souls enter Hell, then the temperature and pressure in Hell will increase until all Hell breaks loose.

2. If Hell is expanding at a rate faster than the increase of souls in Hell, then the temperature and pressure will drop until Hell freezes over.


So which is it?



If we accept the postulate given to me by Teresa during my Freshman year that, 'It will be a cold day in Hell before I sleep with you,' and take into account the fact that I slept with her last night, then number two must be true, and thus I am sure that Hell is exothermic and has already frozen over. The corollary of this theory is that since Hell has frozen over, it follows that it is not accepting any more souls and is therefore, extinct..... ....leaving only Heaven, thereby proving the existence of a divine being which explains why, last night, Teresa kept shouting 'Oh my God.'



THIS STUDENT RECEIVED AN A+.

 

And there are people saying kids don't learn anything in school! Just proves they do! Wonder what Teresa's phone number is?

 

I wish I had seen this while I was a student in seminary, LOL

 

Yup....that student DESERVED an A+ !!

 

Am I the only one who wonders what Teresa looks like?
Is she angelic or devilishly delicious?

 

No More Hell!!!

... And here I was thinking that I was going to Hell and now I have to go to heaven just because some guy got lucky... Thanks dude. I just found out that Hell became the perfect frozen wasteland but that I don't get to go! I hope your happy!!!





You're right he does deserve that A+.

 

Wonder if Teresa will make his life Hell?

 

Silly question!Is she female?
Is Teresa an unwed mother? Mother Teresa! If Teresa makes his life Hell will he end up with getting the cold shoulder from then on? Just remember when meeting a gal like Teresa "Heaven's just a sin away."

 

He could be the first victim of Boyle's Law, if she catches up with him.

 

Hell freezes over every year in Michigan. It is a real town.

Still ROFL from the 1st post.

 

YES!

 

Does Hell accept credit cards - because he's gonna have Hell to pay when Teresa finds out he's been kissin' and tellin'! Hell hath no fury like a woman scorned - or referenced in a chemistry exam....

 

I want to go where most of my friends will be! Got any idea where that will be?

 

Where all the fun folks are?

 

I remember friends often saying they're gonna have a HELL of a good time.... Never heard anyone in a bar say they are gonna have a HEAVEN of a good time! Guess you are right then.