Car Running Countdown

Hey $arge, translate this into Spanish and call the Piolin Radio show on their 1-866- number (toll free) I think its caller jokes day, on Friday. If they like it, they'll send you a $500 check for gasoline!

Here it is (I posted before in here, but it fits with the SWMBO comments):

Henry Ford dies and gets to the Pearly gates. Saint Peter is the Day shift and sees Henry coming in.

"Mr. Ford, welcome to Heaven! I have only one key question to ask, to make your stay an eternally enjoyable time, Ok?"

"Sure!", says Henry, "What is it?"

"What did you do on Earth that really got you passionate about your potential? I know you did some Gold Mining, and built old buggy wagons, but what really inspired you, Mr. Ford?"

"Call me Henry, Saint Peter, Ok? I invented a lot of things, but my most impressive was the automobile Assembly Line system! That really turned my crank!"

"Well Henry, then I know just where to send you! The Inventors Room! It's about a 1/2 mile down that shady lane, first turn on your left for about 100 yards. How's that Henry?"

"Perfect! Did I say that about Heaven?", laughing to himself.

Down he strolls, following Peter's instructions, and the first guy he meets is Marconi. "My gosh Mr. Marconi, am I glad I can meet you and thank you for the invention of the Radio. We've figured out how to include them in our future models without breaking the tubes! We'll sell more cars and people will stay awake and listen to The Shadow Knows, and great jazz. Let me shake your hand sir!"

Keeps moving around, and meets all kinds of inventors, and he meets Thomas Edison. "Mr. Edison, I would be ashamed to not introduce myself and thank you for the invention of the incandescent lightbulb. Because of you, my cars and trucks can drive faster without kerosene lamps that go out above 30 MPH. Our customers are thrilled that they can see farther at night, and they don't have to carry a jug of kerosene to fill them every few hours. An amazing invention sir! Thanks again.

Henry gets way back in the room, and sees this really old fellow, in good shape, but a bit stiff. "Hi! My name is Henry Ford, I invented a lot of modern features for my automobiles."

The guy answers "Yeah I heard all about you!" Don't know what an automobile is, but it must move without a tether, right? A long rope that you pull on?"

Henry looks at him, sort of puzzled and wonders who's never heard of an automobile? So he asks him who he is. "Oh, forgive me, my name is Adam, the first man."

Henry's still puzzled. "What did you invent, sir?"

Adam says proudly, "Why sonny, Henry, whatever you're name is, I invented WOMAN!"

Henry thinks about it for a minute and is a bit put off by that 'sonny... whatever your name is...' brush off, and replies:

"Adam, I can't help myself as a career engineer but to suggest that your design of WOMAN is a bit off. The front bumpers are too high, the back bumpers are too low, AND! The exhaust is too close to the intake!"


CAUTION!
$arge, modify as you wish or just use it ON BASE. Trust me, if the SWMBO hasn't got a good sense of humor, don't tell her! it seems to revive the Women's Lib aspect in some gals.

 

jajajaja...
"the exhaust is too close to te intake!!! JA"

i can see it now. see what you started...viva la revolucion!
lol

 

One slip and you're in la mierda! Burn baby, burn!

 

$arge, I thought I'd get something like "Hijo de tu republica madre!" Or "la reching...", but that picture said it all.

 

You mean the 60's is coming back???? Dang Norman you need to start teaching me Spanish.:banghead3:

 

Ford Manuals fail when it comes to the Body

This is the second issue I've found about the Factory Manuals. The Dash support brackets and now the Aluminum Bumper hardware.

Andy came over the other day and pointed out how my front bumper had too much 'droop-down' angle at the front edge. So I looked in the books. Nada!!!

Then I recalled that Andy brought the complete replacement for Monty's Accident. Voila! There's a few hours of work in those collapsible bumper braces and brackets. But it's done.

Then I tried installing the Air Dam via the book. One picture in a Haynes, NADA! in the Ford manuals.

I remember a news item, back in the late 60's, talking about Student Driver Ed, in highschool, and how Canadian kids shouldn't complain. It seems that back then, Russia had a total of 1,500 gas stations and repair shops. A new driver had to demonstrate that he could make road-side repairs on his own car to pass the Driver's test. He had to have the latest Shop Manuals in the vehicle, at all times. After these little frictions with Ford's manuals, (a lot better than nothing, but... ) I can see why Russia made knock-off Lincolns and printed their own manuals.

 

As I mentioned, Andy noticed that the front bumper had too much droop at the front edge, so I checked out why. It took a few hours last evening to find and fix it. Fairmont front bumpers have a galvanized steel web, that has weld nuts at the top, and clip nuts on the bottom edge of the bumper. The rub is that I had them installed with clip nuts top and bottom making the gap between the collision 'shock' strut and the bumper sticking out by almost 3/8" at the top, pushing the front edge down. The pictures in the book are hand-drawn outlines/sketches with no specific instructions to reinstall them.

Here's how they should look when they're in correctly - taken from under and behind the bumper.

 

So didja pull the bumper off???

 

Installed the new Air Dam today:



Made up a part that Mustangs got in 1979, but not Fairmonts. The cowl vent, under the wiper blades, gets full of leaves and junk. It plugs up the drain holes, creating a perfect place for rusting out the cowl, the air vent for the heater/AC on the passenger side or the fresh air vents for non-AC Farimonts. So I started making my own Leaf Traps from one of the old PVC Fender liners:

Here's the two holes I want to cover in the cowl:


Here's my cardboard template. I made it to fit below the mounting holes for the cowl grille and then made it oversize to score and bend the extra 'flaps' to fasten it, somehow. I'm thinking spring clips - Z-shaped or some other concealed fastener.



And the oversized piece of PVC with flaps. I'll use my drill press and drill 5/16" holes, to create an air grille, about 1/4" apart.

 

Andy and I went to a local Junkyard and picked up some small hardware parts, as well as some bigger ones for Andy's recent accident damage.

Well, I picked up a radio support bracket in all its glorious 30 years of surface rust. Put it in pure vinegar with salt for twelve hours and it came out like this:

Bottom:


Top side:

 

Last but not least for today are my replacement engine compartment splash shields, which I'll show and tell in the original call for HELP!!!

http://www.stationwagonforums.com/forums/showthread.php?t=2288&page=6

 

I managed to pry it away enough to wiggle things out and get it right.

 

Wiggling does help.

 

Well Stormin'. At least you have the weather for work. It's just too stinking hot here. Today is the coolest day in over a week. Only 99*. I haven't done anything to cars in a while. It is impossible to adjust a carburator in this heat. The choke never sets. I'm glad I got that done a year ago.

Then there's so much sweat dripping on the inside of my glasses I can't see to begin with.

I'm sure you getting alot of work done. Interupted by a little rain. Rain? What's that. I think we had some back in December...or was it October. I don't quite remember.

I do try to start and drive the wagon at least once a week before 9 am. Too hot after that.

 

Yeah, it really is great weather. My wiring diagrams don't fly off to the neighbour's yard, either.

You get into this reassembly mode, and suddenly all the details you thought about come back. My connectors on the electronic ignition box, were broken, but a got a pair at the JY and spent TIME resoldering the new one ones. The dual horn set up was wrong, so I put them in right (One in stock loacation behind the washer bottle, other on shock tower). Now I'm wiring in the engine bay work lights. The 1979 had a Mercury switch type, that was recalled long ago. So I got a newer 'push pin' type to open only when you open the hood.

A buddy came over with some old lights he found near a dumpster and there were 3 of those license plate metal housing with glass lense (1.25" diam.) so I'm mounting one on each tower and the other as a work light on a longer wire, running from a cigarette lighter plug under the hood.

It's an old car, and they decide when they want some TLC. Being Prepared is all I can do.